We've had 15 or 16 chicks die since we got them just over a week ago. I hate that, especially since I don't know why it's happening. We go in, and feed and water, and everyone seems to be moving around fairly briskly, and then when we check again a couple hours later, there're a couple corpses.

And I think it's the not knowing why that's bothering me the most, because then it feels completely random and arbitrary.

Sometimes things die, and sometimes there's an apparent reason, and sometimes not. That's the way it happens. And sometimes in spite of the sadness of it, it's a blessed relief too.

I imagine abortion is like that, sometimes. Before I had children, and even up until a few years ago, I couldn't imagine wanting an abortion, no matter the circumstances. And now, knowing a larger world, I hate to imagine being stuck in a culture without the option. I know I'd go that route, under the "right" circumstances. I've been thinking about that a lot in the past few days.

My friend found out this week that the woman who gave her up for adoption had been gang-raped by six men, hired by her mother to keep her from insisting on property rights. Abortion wasn't an option then, and I'm glad of my friend, but oh god, what a situation.

Sometimes there aren't any happy solutions, and we never know the whole story. And sometimes things die. Mercy.